I have no idea what do write next. Sorry, I am a bit distracted! In fact, right now as I am starting this post, I am looking at myself in a mirror that is directly across where I’m sitting. And, let me tell you, I look good! Ha, now I am laughing and smiling at myself in the mirror. It’s a large mirror with a great oak frame. Where did I get it? I found it in someone’s garbage. That’s right, I am a junk picker. For me there is nothing more satisfying than finding a second-hand treasure. You wouldn’t believe all the good stuff I have found over the years. It’s truly free stuff with no-strings attached because someone threw it out! If you are not comfortable digging through your neighbor’s garbage cans, there are other ways to get good used stuff. You can find quality used things at rummage sales or second hand stores. All it takes is little cleaning or fixing and you have nearly new things.
Used material things are worth saving. But when it comes to relationships, you do not want other people used junk. It might be easy to refinish a table, but it’s a lot harder to restore a damaged person. I would never recommend it. Many people get into relationships with a person who is still emotionally involved with an ex. This is crazy! You wouldn’t wear someone’s used underpants without washing them first. Why would you want someone’s ex without scrubbing away years of built up old crap?
Don’t think you are not guilty of this! This rule applies to you, too. I will hold up my mirror so you can look at yourself. Do you have old feelings that could use a good cleaning? Are you still hurt from a previous relationship? Sure breaking up is not easy and sometimes it can come as a surprise. You may have convinced yourself that he or she was “the one” but keep in mind if they were, you would still be together. Yes, a break-up hurts. You will feel all kinds of real emotions, and you might forget to do some basic things like…. breathing, eating, and living. I know you don’t want to sit at home thinking about your old relationship but jumping into bed, or into a relationship with someone new will NOT help you get over anything.
Before you are ready for a new relationship, it is important to fix, strip, and remove all the built up emotional sediment remaining from your previous relationships. How do you do this? First, you can start by being alone for more than two days! Just like second-hand furniture, it takes time to restore something to “like new” condition. This includes you, too.
My second tip is you to avoid starting a relationship with someone who hasn’t completely cleaned out the emotional junk remaining from his or her former relationship! You don’t want someone’s litter from the past to interfere with your future! Think about it, you don’t stay in a hotel room until the maid has cleaned up the mess made from the last visitor. So, why would you want someone who hasn’t taken out his own emotional trash?
How can you tell if someone is clogged up with emotional gunk? It’s easy! Just listen to how they talk about their ex, and if they blame their ex for the demise of the relationship, well being, mental state, and life, they are not ready for anything new with you. They are still hurting and you can’t cure them. They need to work out their feelings of rejection. They need time to heal and learn about themselves. They don’t need someone in their lives right now and you must not get into situation where you will become a “right now relationship”.
If you are still hung up on someone, do yourself and everyone else a favor by not getting involved with someone new! Why would anyone do this? Are you hoping this new person will replace the leftover feelings of hurt and loneliness? Why do people think that having someone will magically cure their faults? Insecurity, jealously, and other feeling of inadequacy will not be whisked away by having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You bring your problems into that relationship.
I don’t understand why someone would continue to be interested in someone after the relationship has come to an end. If someone dumps you, don’t wonder why. The details are not important. It’s time to move on. “But I love him!” How can you love somebody and long for someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore? I never understood this type of thinking. And I have yet to hear a valid argument that justifies it. There is no reason to want someone who doesn’t want you.
You need to stop being a wimp and relying on others to make you feel better. Nobody is going to make you complete. People always look to others for the cure. Start looking at yourself because only you can make you better.
If you are having a hard time getting over an ex, email me scotty@scottysaysradio.com
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